Passing It On

Bush liked his funeral … well, the first one, anyway

“You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours.”

- Yogi Berra

Leave it to the great New York Yankee philosopher to succinctly sum up funereal etiquette. Funerals are unusually bipolar events – deeply solemn, sad occasions on one hand; celebrations of a person’s life on the other. Some wags have even tagged them as “cocktail parties for the geriatric set.”

You’ve probably attended many funerals in your lifetime, but have you ever thought about your own? The average person spends weeks or months planning a wedding but less than 2 hours planning a funeral. While most of us pay little attention to our own mortality, many of us also harbor a deep fear that no one will come to our funeral in any case.

Whatever his reasons, Felix "Bush" Berazeale decided in 1938 that he wanted to have his own funeral while he was still alive to enjoy it. Thanks to a tip from Chris Dunham at The Genealogue, I have learned more about Bush, a rural Tennesseean whose unusual first funeral got way out of hand.

The Associated Press got wind of it and soon some 7,000 people from surrounding states – and a photographer from Life magazine – were headed to the Cave Creek Cemetery for the June 26, 1938, “funeral.” Heavy traffic delayed the funeral cortege and a local farmer reportedly earned some $300 for letting mourners park in his field at 25 cents a pop.

Bush, as the never-married Berazeale was called, was soon featured on Robert Ripley’s Believe It Or Not radio program and was the biggest celebrity in tiny Roane, Tennessee, until his death five years later. Bush’s real funeral was much more modest. Only five people – all funeral home staff – were said to have attended.

Bush’s story has been turned into a motion picture script and the film, Get Low, is currently in production starring Bill Murray, Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek.

Have you had any memorable funerals in your own family?

Writing prompt of the day: List three (or more) things that you want included in your own funeral. (Make sure your family is aware of your wishes.)

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Photo courtesy of Susan Daugherty through Roots of Roane County, Tennessee

Does your family have lost and found history?

Have you ever “misplaced” a bit of your family history, some item of significance that you’d like to have back?

We often dole out pieces of our past through household moves, garage sales, spontaneous fits of housecleaning or simple acts of benevolence. Just as often, we later come to regret our actions, wishing we had them back.

On the other hand, we are sometimes reunited with forgotten bits of our past thanks to the foresightedness and generosity of people close to us. That happened to me this week on an all-too-rare visit with my cousin Judy. When I left her house, I was enriched by a cache of photos, clippings and scrapbooks saved by our grandmother.

In addition to sharing a bit of family gossip, I also learned something new about my grandfather – that he was a talented cartoonist. I now have a dozen or so pencil drawings he did of family members and cartoon characters of the period. Let’s just say that his drawing of Grandma puts her in a much more risqué light than I had ever imagined.

I also left with a handful of the peach pits that Grandpa carved into monkeys, baskets and crosses and distributed widely to family members, something I knew about but hadn’t thought about in years. Same with the impish character in the photo. It’s just one of several characters created to “smoke” Adams’ Smokie Cigarettes, the inch-long pieces of rolled up paper that burn like real cigarettes when lit, to the point of blowing smoke rings. Although I know little about the character, I vaguely remember him. You can still buy Smokie Cigarettes, but not nearly as cheaply as you could 50-60 years ago.

I’m grateful for Judy’s gift of some of our shared family history. I’m sure that there’s much more out there somewhere and, if you have any, I’d like it back. Especially my 1957 Chevy.

Writing prompt of the day: What’s one piece of your lost family history that you’d like back?

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

You may not know Jack, actually

 

Earlier this week I had the good fortune to dine with some former high school classmates at our school’s hall of fame induction of another classmate, Barbara Morris Koenig. There was lots of reminiscing among us – Suzie, Lynette, Sheri, Linda and Bill (whose nametag inexplicably read “John”).

Also at our table was J.J., a school board member, who chipped in with stories of her own high school days in far off Valentine, Neb. As we left the dining area, I asked her what J.J. stood for. “That’s between my mother and me,” she teased before divulging her actual name.

Truth is, few people outside J.J.’s family probably do know her actual name. She ran for school board as J.J., teaches elementary school kids as J.J. and has probably used those initials most of her life. Many of us are known primarily by a name other than that given by us by our parents and that can create problems when doing family history research.

For instance, if you try to track down information on my father, Jack Lehmer, you’re likely to come up empty unless you use his given name of Walter B. The same could be true if I tried to track down classmates I knew as Sparks and Skeet, not their actual names.

Famous people often are more widely known by stage names than their actual names. I wonder if guests at an Evans family reunion call their most famous hip-gyrating, singing family member by his stage name of Chubby (Checker), or if they go with his given name of Ernest?

Chances are good you grew up with an Andy Anderson or Smitty Smith. Chances are also good that those are not their real names. You probably knew people who went by their middle names although you had no way of knowing that.

Keep that in mind as you continue your family research.

Writing prompt of the day: List the nicknames used by your family members. Then write about their origins.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Photo: Barbara Morris Koenig