Passing It On

What was your first job?

 

 

Do you remember your first job?

For me, it was delivering between 80 and 100 copies of the Daily Nonpareil newspaper to customers on route 60A on the west side of my hometown of Council Bluffs, Iowa. It’s amazing how much I remember from those two or three years of delivering papers seven days a week, rain or shine.

I remember much from my other jobs, too –Twin City Bowl, Union Pacific Railroad, Omaha Public Schools, U.S. Air Force, the Nonpareil again (this time as a reporter), the Burlington Hawk-Eye, Des Moines Register. How about you?

So much of our life is invested in what we do for a living. Take time now to make a list of all your jobs and work experiences. Include those things you did to raise some spending oney as a kid. Place each job in the proper place in your timeline. Make sure you include:
• Name of the company and its address
• Your duties
• How much you were paid
• Your bosses and co-workers
• Dates of employment
• What did you like about each job?
• What did you hate about each job?
• Who were your favorite co-workers? Give some detail about shared experiences.
• How did you get the job?
• Why did you leave?
• What did you learn on this job?

Tomorrow: It’s TGIF. Let’s have fun!

This is Lesson No. 13 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Truth? Justice, the family way

 

 

Most of us who have grown up in more-or-less functional extended families have had access to family stories from a variety of sources. We may have heard the same story retold dozens of times by the same person, etching it deep in our memory. We may have even retold the story ourselves without considering whether it was true or even plausible.

The question of truth often comes up when writing a personal history. If you have doubts about the accuracy of a long-standing family story, or if conflicting versions of the same story are being promulgated, what do you do?

If some of these “hand-me-down stories” will be part of your project, it will be up to you to evaluate their worthiness. If you have any doubts about their accuracy, check them out. Check dates and facts from trusted sources, if possible. Ask others who may have personal knowledge of the situation for their views. It’s not unusual for eyewitnesses to the same event to come away with different views of what happened. You may end up with a hybrid version of the original, or you may choose to use the original with some sort of disclaimer. Remember, when you put your version of the story in black and white, it may very well become your family’s “official” version of the event.

Besides the issue of “whose truth?,” you may also face the question of “how much truth?” in your project. Do you need to tell all, or will a bare-bones explanation suffice? While this is a personal decision, keep in mind that this is your project and that you don’t have to write anything you don’t want to write. It’s possible to make a point without revealing every detail about what led up to that point.

The bottom line: Be as honest as you can, be clear in your retelling and explanations and respect your readers enough to give them what they need to know to make sense of your story. You owe them nothing less. Or nothing more.

Tomorrow: Your work life.

This is Lesson No. 12 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Flickr photo courtesy of  Beloved Imp.

Who are you, really?

How do you answer the question, “What do you do?”

Most Americans respond with a description of the work they do in order to provide for their families. In other cultures, however, you’re just as likely to hear about family, hobbies and other interests as you are to hear about work pursuits.

We don’t always think to put our core beliefs and values out front when describing ourselves, but they form the bedrock of our being, the rudders that keep us on our life’s course. Today, I want you to consider your beliefs and values, and their source.

It’s not always easy to identify and articulate just what it is we believe in. I’m including a list here to get you started, but it’s by no means complete. You can find a longer, more comprehensive list here.

Nor is it easy to identify the source of these values. But that’s what I want you to do today: determine as best you can how you acquired these values and write about those experiences. It will be easier if you prioritize the values and start writing about those that are most important to you. Add them to your timeline, if you can. If they don’t fit naturally there, place them at the front of your binder. The values list:
• Adaptable
• Ambitious
• Compassionate
• Competitive
• Courteous
• Decisive
• Disciplined
• Discrete
• Generous
• Honest
• Industrious
• Loyal
• Optimistic
• Organized
• Practical
• Rational
• Respectful
• Religious
• Sensitive
• Spiritual
• Supportive
• Thoughtful
• Tolerant
• Virtuous

Tomorrow: Family myths.

This is Lesson No. 11 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Flickr photo courtesy of acejet170.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to school we go

 

Think of school as your first job.

You had to be there several hours a day for five days a week, your teacher was a boss that you worked very hard to please and your paycheck came in the form of grades. Job No. 1 was learning and, for most of us in the United States, that job lasted at least 12 years.

It was a critical time in our lives, as we grew from mostly illiterate, raw talents into the mature individuals that set sail on our own personal life journeys many years later. Strong bonds and memories were formed through the formal educational process. Today we’ll document those which had the greatest impact on our lives.

Again we’ll use the power of lists to help you dig out those memories. Write as much detail as you can about each one and add it to your timeline:

• List all the schools you attended, including the years attended.
• List the teachers who had the greatest impact on you. This list includes your favorites, but it may include some you don’t remember so fondly. If they made a difference in your life, list them here.
• Was there anything memorable about any of the buildings? Do some classrooms, lunchrooms, gymnasiums, principal offices have special meaning to you?
• Who were some of your best friends in school? What was special about your relationship? What did you learn from each other? Whatever happened to them?
• What were some of the most memorable events at your school? Did you have carnivals, fun days, ice cream socials, etc.?
• Do you remember your first day at school? Your last day?
• How did you get to school? Did you walk, ride a bus or use some other mode of transportation?
• Did you have to wear a uniform to school? If so, describe it. If not, what did you wear on a typical day?
• What were your favorite classes? Did any of them lead you onto a career path that you followed into an actual for-money job?
• As you changed schools, reflect on the adjustments you had to make. Focus on the good and bad aspects of changing schools.
• Describe how school changed you. Do you think you were basically the same person when you left high school as when you entered elementary school, or were there some changes?

Tuesday: We’ll examine the values that are important to you.

This is Lesson No. 10 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Flickr photo courtesy of  calonda.

Here's to mom, and other important people

 

You’ve probably heard the tired, old business cliché: It’s our people that make us special.

Well, in personal history, that cliché is true. It’s the interactions with people that have made you who you are. From your loving mother to a doting great uncle to an obnoxiously rude salesperson to an inspiring educator, every person you come in contact with has had some effect on shaping the person you’ve become. Today we’re going to concentrate on those people who played significant roles in your life journey.

Use this list to help you determine who those people are. Write as much detail as you can about each one and add it to your timeline:

• Relatives. For most of us, it’s those closest to us who had the greatest impact on us. List all relatives who played a major role in your life. When writing about these relatives, include as much information about them as you can: full name, birthdate, spouse, occupation, residence, etc. Most importantly, note their contributions to your life.
• Close friends. Again, detail is key. Include when and where you met them, write about your shared experiences, how your friends impacted you and how your relationship developed or faded.
• The shapers. This would include teachers, religious leaders, scout leaders, neighbors or anyone you had a solid relationship with during your lifetime. What did you learn from these people?
• The hit-and-runners. This includes people who were in your life for a very short period of time, yet made quite an impact on you. Examples would be “foxhole buddies” from the military or a lifeguard who pulled you from danger as a youngster.
• Business associates. This is where you put that Boss from Hell who taught you how not to be a manager. You can put good stuff here, too.

Now that we’ve used several different lists to explore your personal history, you may have noticed some overlap. That’s OK. By examining your life experiences from different perspectives, it often evokes different memories of the same experience. By adding these to your timeline, it gives you an easy way to consolidate this information and help bring your life into sharper focus.

Monday: What do you remember about your school days?

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

This is Lesson No. 9 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Flickr photo courtesy of  Windy Angels.

Remembering the places where memories were made

 

The average person moves several times in a lifetime. Each place we live creates a unique set of circumstances – new friends, new places to shop, eat and be entertained, etc. Today we’ll examine your memories associated with the places you’ve lived.

To start, list the places you’ve lived, in chronological order. Include the street addresses, if you can. Then write as much as you can about each place:
• How big was it? One story or more? How many rooms?
• What color was it?
• How was it constructed: wood, brick, stucco, stone, etc.?
• Were there any special landscaping features that distinguished it?
• Was the house comfortable for the local climate?
• How many people lived there? List relatives and non-relatives for each location.
• What was your favorite room in the house? Why?
• Describe your bedroom. Where was it located in the house?
• Did your house have a basement or attic? If so, how did you use the space?
• Briefly describe your neighborhood and how your residence fit in.
• Do you have any special memories associated with this particular residence?
• Describe your feelings as you moved in or left from this location. What did you like or dislike about it?

Many of us spent significant time in the homes of others, such as grandparents or close friends. If you have strong memories associated with homes of others, write about them, too. Use your photos to assist you, or talk to others who may have shared experiences from that particular time and place.

Then, add this information at the appropriate spot in your timeline.

Tomorrow: We’ll look at the special people in your life.

This is Lesson No. 8 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Flickr photo courtesy of  YoChicago1.

Harnessing the power of King Photo

 

When it comes to memory joggers, photos are king.

There’s nothing that brings our past to life better than visual reminders. Film and video also do this, but our best connections to our more distant past often come from photographs. Long ago, having a photo taken was a big deal. Equipment was large, heavy and cumbersome. Even the subjects found picture-taking to be something of an ordeal, having to hold still for relatively long periods of time.

But, as good as photos can be in triggering old memories, they can also be confounding. This is particularly true when you don’t recognize the people in the photos. For the purposes of your personal history, though, concentrate on those photos that evoke memories of events you wish to include in your project.

Sort through your collection and pull those photos which you want to use as memory joggers. If you’re planning on committing your history to print, note which photos you may want to include in the final printed document.

The first thing to do with each photo is to identify who’s in it, what they are doing and when and where they did it. Write as much as you can about the photo and add it at the appropriate spot in your timeline. Sorting through your memories associated with a photo may spark other memories. Make note of them, too, and add them to your timeline.

You’ll probably find this sort of domino effect happening often. You’ll find yourself thinking about events and people you haven’t thought about in a very long time. Go with it. Write about it. Share it.

Tomorrow: We’ll look at some of the places of your past.

This is Lesson No. 7 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Flickr photo courtesy of eskimo_jo.

Examining the big events in your life

 

Life is full of twists and turns. Veer one direction and your life may turn out altogether different from the life waiting down the path not taken. Each of us has many of these decision points in our past. Let’s start examining them.

Make a list of the crucial events of your past. Some are obvious; others may not have seemed so important at the time, but turned out to be major influences in your life journey. Refer to your memory joggers as you make your list. Here are some types of events to consider:
• Births
• Deaths
• Marriages
• Divorces
• Military service
• Potentially dangerous situations
• Illnesses
• Family crises
• Educational matters: choice of schools, courses of study, etc.
• Job choices
• Milestones
• Honors and achievements

Some of the events are more important than others. Identify those which had the greater impact on your life. You can rank the entire list, with No. 1 being most important. Add the list to your timeline.

Starting with the most important event, start writing about each one. You can write as much as you remember or just hit the highlights now. You can come back to it later as you put together your personal history.

As you write, be specific. Include as much detail as you can. Remember the who, what, when, where and why of each event. Consider, too, your reaction at the time and how it impacted you later in life. Don’t try to be fancy in your writing. Your written stories should reflect the same vernacular that your audience is accustomed to hearing.

Tomorrow: Taking note of photos.

This is Lesson No. 6 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.
 
Flickr photo courtesy of hb19.

Time for some mental exercise: Take your memory jogging

 

As you collect the stories of your life, it’s helpful to use memory joggers. A memory jogger is simply anything that evokes a response related to your life experience. Joggers are invaluable in fleshing out the details of your life story.

Now is the time to locate and collect as many of these memory joggers as you can. Here’s a list of things to look for:

• Scrapbooks. Remember, too, that others may have scrapbooks with information useful to you.
• Photo albums
• High school and college yearbooks
• Journals or diaries
• Baby books. These are very popular with mothers and grandmothers. Check yours.
• Report cards. Besides tracking courses and performance, they often include teachers’ comments.
• Other school items. Class pictures, class rings, programs, etc.
• Old letters and greeting cards
• Legal documents. Marriage licenses, birth certificates, tax records, property records, divorce decrees, adoption papers, military records.
• Church records
• Genealogy or family history work done by others
• Memorabilia
• Family movies or videotapes
• Family items that have been passed on from earlier generations

You’ll use these memory joggers extensively as you organize your life story.

Tomorrow: Examining the big events in your life.

This is Lesson No. 5 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

Flickr photo courtesy of  kingeswife.

Memories: They hide, they tease, sometimes they lie

 

Memories are funny things. You may remember vivid details of some things that happened to you decades ago while details of more recent events are fuzzy or even forgotten altogether. Random bits and pieces of our past flit in and out of our memory banks at the most curious times.

True, some people have sharper memories than others. Some people are just better observers than others. As you work on your personal history project, it’s inevitable that you’ll find yourself frustrated by your lack of recollection of something you want to include, but just can’t come up with the necessary detail.

It’s OK to look for help.

Perhaps the best way is to talk to friends or relatives who either shared the same experience or who are at least knowledgeable about it. Their recollections may jump start your own memory or at least give you the details you need to include the story. Or, they may confuse you.

It’s very common for two versions (or more) of the same story to find their way into family lore. I always tell clients that the best way to make their version the preferred one is to get it down in writing first. If you find conflicting versions of the same story during your project, you’ll just have to determine which version is accurate to you.

The issue of what to include in your project must be a reasoned, personal decision. The best benchmark is to consider what is appropriate for your audience. What you include or leave out is ultimately up to you.

Humorist Will Rogers had this to say on the subject: "When you put down all the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do - well, that's a Memoir!"

Monday: Gathering and using your own memory joggers.

This is Lesson No. 4 of a mini-course on how to write a personal history. The course will continue throughout May, which is Personal History Month. To get future lessons delivered to you, you may subscribe to our RSS feed or get e-mail delivery to your inbox. It’s easy. Details can be found in the column to the left of this post.

Author Larry Lehmer's book about Dick Clark and American Bandstand --  Bandstandland: How Dancing Teenagers Took Over America and Dick Clark Took Over Rock & Roll --is available from Sunbury Press. His book about the last tour of Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens -- The Day the Music Died -- is available at Amazon.

 Flickr photo courtesy of shazwan.