Passing It On

Jessie’s journal: June 3-8, 1959

Here is another posting from my grandmother Jessie Lehmer’s 1959 journal. Jessie kept her journal for at least 29 years. You can find the first post in this series here.

Jessie (age 57) is recovering from a lengthy hospital stay for a sore back and has yet to return to her job at Kilpatrick’s Department store in Omaha. Her husband Harry (age 60, who she refers to as Daddy), a boilermaker’s helper at Union Pacific Railroad in Omaha, was recently hospitalized with a serious illness.

Other people mentioned this week include Harry and Jessie’s daughter, Agnes Grosvenor (37), who lives across the street with her husband, Jack Grosvenor (40) and their three children – Judy (18), Linda (16) and Jackie (3). Also mentioned are Harry’s brother Warren (64), Dr. McDermott and Dr. Muehlig (Harry’s doctors), and Mr. Smith, another patient in Harry’s hospital room.

June 3, 1959 (Wednesday)
    “I left hospital at 9 p.m., stopped to see Agnes. I hate to leave Daddy, hurts so. Wish I could be with him all the time. He looks at me so pitiful. He is the same, did have a bad headache this p.m. Nurse gave him a pill, made him sick. Didn’t vomit, tho. He got his sick pay – $102. He was able to sign it, hope it goes thru alright. … Mr. Smith said Daddy got out of bed last nite. He was sick, vomited all over. They cleaned him up, put him back to bed. He was alright. God bless him and watch over him.”

June 5, 1959 (Friday)
    “9:45 p.m. I have been home for a while, just got my bed made. Oh so lonely without Harry. I left the hospital at 8:45, he was awake. Was sorta dopey all day. Woke up good after Agnes came, talked more then. Dr. McDermott said he wanted me to stop coming except for visiting hours. I am going to talk to Dr. Muehlig, see if I can’t come as I have been and feed him. The nurses don’t have the time to spend with him and I have.”

June 6, 1959 (Saturday)
    “10 p.m. I left the hospital at 8:35, afraid McDermott might come in. I seen Dr. Muehlig. He said he couldn’t do much as far as me staying at the hospital as McDermott was in charge. So it will be regular visiting hours for me from now on. He did say I could bring Daddy home, a lot to consider. Will have to think it over.”

June 7, 1959 (Sunday)
    “9:30. I left the hospital early again so McDermott wouldn’t catch me. Daddy isn’t so good today. He pulled the tube out of his bladder last night, must have laid in the mess all day. Bed soaked, such an odor. They cleaned him up when I got there after 4 p.m. They inserted another catheter. It gave him relief as well as keeping his bed dry. He vomited, nurse gave him a hypo so he relaxed. Bless his heart. He is so helpless. … I had a flat tire this a.m., took it to filling station. Couldn’t find anything wrong.”

June 8, 1959 (Monday)

    “I planted some gladiolus bulbs. Late, but maybe they will bloom. Warren and I had dinner at Burlington Depot.”

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

No funeral service, no headstone … can these be good things?

A friend died recently. At his request, there were no services of any kind. Since he left his body to a medical school, there is no gravesite to visit.

We weren’t close friends, but I greatly enjoyed his company during the times we did share. I knew him for about 30 years, but there was nearly a half-century of his life before that, a life I knew little about. This was made clear in the newspaper obituary that announced his death. I always found him to be an interesting person, but the details in the obituary made him even more interesting than I had imagined. I looked forward to learning more about him when friends and family would gather to celebrate his life.

Sadly, I never had that opportunity … and I feel cheated. While I totally respect his right to leave this planet in any way he chose, I wish he had chosen another path. Funerals, visitations, wakes and memorial services are as much for the grieving as they are for the departed. I almost always leave such inherently sad occasions feeling even closer to the person being honored. I regret that I never had the chance to share stories about my friend.

It is with some irony that the newspaper at which both my friend and I worked as editors recently carried an article headlined “Green to the grave is a growing trend.” This trend includes some folks who opt for natural burials, using rocks and trees instead of traditional headstones. While this practice is, indeed, more natural, I wonder how future family historians will react to finding great grandma under an oak tree instead of beneath a neatly engraved headstone.

No services, no headstones. How do you suppose either of these affects a person’s long-term legacy?

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of di_the_huntress

Jessie’s journal: May 27-June 1, 1959

Here is another posting from my grandmother Jessie Lehmer’s 1959 journal. Jessie kept her journal for at least 29 years. You can find the first post in this series here.

Jessie (age 57) is recovering from a lengthy hospital stay for a sore back and has yet to return to her job at Kilpatrick’s Department store in Omaha. Her husband Harry (age 60, who she refers to as Daddy), a boilermaker’s helper at Union Pacific Railroad in Omaha, was recently hospitalized with a serious illness.

Other people mentioned this week include Harry and Jessie’s daughter, Agnes Grosvenor (37), who lives across the street with her husband, Jack Grosvenor (40) and their three children – Judy (18), Linda (16) and Jackie (3). Also mentioned are Harry’s brothers Warren (64) and Ray (58) and Jessie’s grandson Mike (8), the son of their youngest child, Calvin (29), Rev. Miller (their pastor), George Tomes (friend) and Boh Tomes, a co-worker of Jessie’s at Kilpatrick’s.

May 27, 1959 (Wednesday)
    “9:50 p.m. I left hospital at 9 o’clock. Daddy was resting good. Dear God, may he sleep and be comfortable through the night. He seems weaker today, just sleeps. Ate fair, God bless him.”

May 28, 1959 (Thursday)
    “20 minutes of ten. I left the hospital at 9 p.m. Daddy was all settled. The nurse took out the stitches, gave him a hypo to sleep. I kissed him goodnight, told him I wish I could stay with him. He said ‘crawl in.’ God bless him. I told him I would see him in the morning. He said ‘Are you going to work?’ I said no, I am going to take care of you, then go to work. He said ‘Oh.’ Dear God, you have the power to give life and take life and if it is thy will, heal him. Thy will be done Lord.”

May 30, 1959 (Saturday)
    “9:40 p.m. I left hospital about 9 o’clock. Daddy was awake, the nurse was restraining him, hate to see it. Last night he tried to get out of bed. They had a heavy strap on his poor ankle. She took it off when I got there. He is good when I am there, was more alert after our minister Mr. Miller came this afternoon. I was so glad to see him.”

May 31, 1959 (Sunday)
    “It is late, 11:30. When I got home from the hospital, a surprise – Warren was over at Agnes’s. I was stunned when I seen him. Didn’t seem right without Daddy around.”

June 1, 1959 (Monday)
    “Daddy seems to be about the same – sorta groggy. He ate a good supper, vomited a little. Maybe I pushed him too much. He sat up twice today, didn’t care whether he did or not. He had lots of company. Calvin, Mike, Ray, Warren, Boh & George. He knew Warren this morning, said ‘I’ll be darned.’ I had a letter from Fern Orrell. She had heard about Daddy and will be seeing us in July, maybe. Agnes feels terrible. I hate it so bad. Poor kid, she has such a hard time. Wish Jack would get to come home.”

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Jessie’s journal: May 20-26, 1959

Here is another posting from my grandmother Jessie Lehmer’s 1959 journal. Jessie kept her journal for at least 29 years. You can find the first post in this series here.

Jessie (age 57) is recovering from a lengthy hospital stay for a sore back and has yet to return to her job at Kilpatrick’s Department store in Omaha. Her husband Harry (age 60, who she refers to as Daddy), a boilermaker’s helper at Union Pacific Railroad in Omaha, was recently hospitalized with a serious illness.

Other people mentioned this week include Harry and Jessie’s daughter, Agnes Grosvenor (37), who lives across the street with her husband, Jack Grosvenor (40) and their three children – Judy (18), Linda (16) and Jackie (3). Also mentioned is their oldest son, Walter (referred to as Jack L., age 38) and Dr. Muehlig (Harry’s doctor).

May 20, 1959 (Wednesday)
    “Oh, dear God, hear our prayers as we pray for our loved one. Oh Lord, thy will be done. Just take over Lord, guide the doctors’ hands and we pray Lord that you will supply his every need. I am leaving now for the hospital to see my darling.
“11:30 p.m. I just got home from the hospital. Daddy is resting, was when I left. Thank God, he was with him. He was in surgery from 12:30 to 2:55. Doing as well as can be expected, awfully restless. He has a special nurse.”

May 21, 1959 (Thursday)
    “Daddy is better today, praise the Lord. Just hope the Lord gives him a good night’s rest. He doesn’t have a special nurse tonight, was disappointed.”

May 22, 1959 (Friday)
    “This is the saddest day of my life. Dr. Muehlig gave me his report on my darling. Malignant, nothing can be done for him, so I guess God is taking him home. I pray he will be merciful and spare him of too much suffering. He isn’t so good today, has been vomiting. They are giving him shots for vomiting, fever & pain, poor dear. … Jack L. stayed with Daddy. I left early as he was quiet and resting, hate to leave him. He hangs onto my hand hard. Oh, how I am going to miss him. Right now I don’t know how I am going to go on. I can’t see ahead now.”

May 25, 1959 (Monday)
    “10 p.m. I left hospital at 9:10. Daddy was quiet, they were going to give him a hypo so he can sleep. He was lots better today, stronger, more alert. He sat up about 20 minutes. They gave him an enema, really got results – 2 weeks without a BM. He eats good, looks good. Of course, he is awful thin.”

May 26, 1959 (Tuesday)
    “10 p.m. I am staying with Agnes. So low and down in the dumps. Daddy has been resting so good all day, slept most of the day. I hated to leave him. He was awake when I left, kissed & hugged me goodnight. So hard to see him laying there and know I am going to have to give him up. Just can’t hardly believe it.”

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Jessie’s journal: May 13-19, 1959

Here is another posting from my grandmother Jessie Lehmer’s 1959 journal. Jessie kept her journal for at least 29 years. You can find the first post in this series here.

Jessie (age 57) is recovering from a lengthy hospital stay for a sore back and has yet to return to her job at Kilpatrick’s Department store in Omaha. Her husband Harry (age 60, who she refers to as Daddy), a boilermaker’s helper at Union Pacific Railroad in Omaha, was recently hospitalized with an unknown illness.

Other people mentioned this week include Harry and Jessie’s daughter, Agnes Grosvenor (37), who lives across the street with her husband, Jack Grosvenor (40) and their three children – Judy (18), Linda (16) and Jackie (3). Another daughter Phyllis (35) lives in Pasadena California, with her husband, Don Lidikay (42). Also mentioned are their oldest son, Walter (referred to as Jack, age 38), his wife Elsie (36), Harry’s brothers Ray (58) and Ralph (55) and Harry and Jessie’s youngest child, Calvin (29), Mrs. Harriman (supervisor at Kilpatrick’s), Dr. McDermott, Dr. Murphy, Dr. Jones, Dr. Muehlig and Dr. Aita (Harry’s doctors), Rev. Miller (their pastor), and Ernie Jensen, Gladys Corzine, Inez Phipps, Ernie Larson, Mr. Brown, Bill Glaser and Verne Welch (friends),

May 13, 1959 (Wednesday)
    “9:10 p.m. I just came home, was over to Agnes’s. Had to force myself to come over and stay. I know I have to get used to it, just as well start now. It has been a long, long lonesome day. Felt rotten this morning because I took a sleeping pill, wore over finally. I took some clothes over for Daddy, almost broke my heart to know I was so close and couldn’t see him. Went uptown, took care of Daddy’s check, a few bills. I talked to Calvin & Jack. Gladys Corzine and Inez Phipps called. I took union books down to Verne [Welch] tonite. He said he will take care of his union dues, check Travelers Insurance for me. I am tired and sleepy, hope I can sleep.”

May 14, 1959 (Thursday)
    “A beautiful morning, 43 degrees. Oh, so lonely without my Daddy. 9:15. Just got home from the hospital. Dr. Aita called about 11:30, said they were going to send Daddy to St. Joseph Hospital so after lunch I went over to St. Joe. Talked to Dr. McDermott, then called Dr. Aita. He said I could go see Daddy, so I did. The ambulance got him at 5 p.m. Agnes & Judy came, which helped a lot. I rode over with him, Agnes fed him his supper, I finished. Jack G. came over & shaved him. He seemed so glad to see us, I hated to leave him. I am going over and feed him his meals.”

May 15, 1959 (Friday)
    “35 degrees at 6:15, a pretty morning. Got up at six a.m., going over and feed Daddy breakfast. Linda stayed with me again. Daddy ate a pretty good breakfast. [Hospital worker] Mrs. Morton told me not to come over any more for morning and noon meals, was too hard on me. She said they will see he gets fed and I will feed him his supper. 4 doctors were in to see him today, going to x-ray his chest again. Dr. Murphy, Jones, Muehlig, McDermott – still nothing definite. Got his form to fill out for sick pay. I went to headquarters, they took care of me, sent me to Retirement Board to sign papers so I can sign for him, cash his checks. … Got receipt from Mercy where New Amsterdam paid bill, $441.31. Calvin mowed the lawn this a.m. I got tire fixed, had to put a tube in it. I am so tired, going to bed. Hate to leave Daddy so bad. Pastor Miller came over to see him. Daddy said I am trusting the Lord to take care of me, I don’t know if he will. I said he will. He said, I know it.”

May 16, 1959 (Saturday)
    “Another lonely, sad day. I got up about 7 a.m. Judy ate breakfast with me. I was so low, went up to see Calvin & Opal. We had prayer, read Hebrews, 11 Chapter, Daddy’s favorite, one of them. Mr. Brown is in town. He came over to see Daddy this p.m., Daddy didn’t know him. Calvin is staying with me tonight. It would make Daddy happy to know he is here, so wonderful of him. Daddy is weaker today. What report we had isn’t good. Going to take another x-ray, study them. I feel better today. With God’s help, I will carry on. God bless Daddy. Just pray that he will be comfortable tonite.”

May 17, 1959 (Sunday)
    “9:45 p.m. Just got home. Daddy was sleeping sound when we left. They inserted a catheter in his bladder so he won’t get sore from wetting the bed. So pitiful when I got over there. They had his hands tied to side rails so he wouldn’t pull it out. I know he was in misery for awhile. He knew Ernie Larsen, Bill Glaser, talked good. Even knew me when I kissed him, said Jessie for first time. He was awake for 4 ½ hours, ate all of his soup, sherbet, ½ glass milk. Even swallowed better, praise the Lord.”

May 18, 1959 (Monday)
    “A dreary morning. I am so lonely for my Daddy. Oh God, help me to keep going so I can be near him. I am so weak. Oh, give me strength, both physical and spiritual. I just couldn’t eat this a.m. so went over and ate at Agnes’s.”

May 19, 1959 (Tuesday)
    “Washed out some clothes, some of my sweetheart’s. Just had a bath. I had a call from Mrs. Harriman. I have to go to the store and sign some insurance papers so will stop on my way to the hospital. I am so anxious to see my Daddy. … 10:25 p.m. So hot & sticky. I just got home from the hospital. Finally got our report, not good either way. Our only chance & hope is surgery so my darling goes in at 12:30 tomorrow. The children and I feel as this is our only hope, so dear God, be with him and take charge, thy will be done. I called Ralph. He came over, Daddy knew him. The children brought Ray, Ernie came. I called Phyllis. Dear God, just take over. He is in your hands.”

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Ignoring lessons from our ancestors has a cost

Are we smarter than our ancestors? Are we better off?

Three stories from the front page of this morning’s paper offer evidence that we really haven’t gained much practical knowledge over the past several generations and that we may be paying a heavy price.

It’s true that in many ways we seem to better off than our grandparents.

Take medical care for example. Generally speaking, better care is available today than in years past and antibiotics were unknown just a few generations ago. Of course, the increase in obesity and Type 2 diabetes among Americans has a nullifying effect on these medical gains. The obesity and diabetes epidemics are due in large part to the increased variety and abundance of foods in the modern supermarket.

One could argue, too, that our standard of living is higher than our grandparents’ since we have larger homes, more cars and all sorts of electrical gadgets. Our homes have central heating and air conditioning and we enjoy many more entertainment options than previous generations.

But the cheap oil and scientific innovations that have given rise to these modern “benefits” are also the sources of concern in this morning’ paper.

The big one, of course, is the oil spill that has dumped millions of gallons of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico and appears to he headed around Florida and up the east coast. Although progress has apparently been made in recent days, it may be generations before we know what the impact of this catastrophe will be.

The second story details the trials of a woman who operates a child-care center in a house surround by land contaminated by an old gas station that closed 20 years ago. Although it seems obvious that the land is polluted with carcinogenic benzene, the wrangling continues over who should clean it up.

The third story tells how scientists, in creating genetically altered cops to eliminate specific pests, have opened the door to damage from previously benign threats.

All of these stories have one central theme: you shouldn’t mess with nature. The more we try, the worse it gets. Not that long ago, our ancestors understood that. If an area was prone to flooding, they moved to higher ground. They ate whatever the land provided, never thinking of shipping food thousands of miles. If something poisoned the water or soil, they stopped using it.

We’d all be better off if we tapped into that common-sense approach of our ancestors rather than trying to conquer the unconquerable.

Writing prompt for the day: What common-sense lessons have you adopted from your family’s ancestors?

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter in Urbandale, Iowa, where he connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flick photo courtesy of Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com.

Five We Like: Another week of family history goodies

There’s a lot of good family history information available on the Internet. Here are five places we’ve enjoyed visiting recently:

What the Walls Would Say. In a difficult New Jersey real estate market, some sellers have turned to house histories to lure buyers for large older homes, and what interesting histories they are!

7 Essential Questions to Consider Before Offering a Personal History Service to the Terminally Ill. Fellow personal historian Dan Curtis has some good, practical advice for anyone who’s considering helping a terminally ill person write a personal history.

Alabama family gets medal found at Illinois garage sale. An Illinois man bought a Purple Heart medal at a garage sale for a dollar and immediately started looking for its owner. That search ended recently in Alabama where a grateful family was presented with the Korean War heirloom.

Obituary Forum: 2010 People’s Picks. Professional obituary writers are excellent role models for how to summarize a person’s life story succinctly and gracefully. The Society of Professional Obituary Writers recently honored some of its members’ finest works. Check out the links to their stories.

Who Owns Your Family History Story? “How much of your family story belongs to you? How much should you tell? What stories should remain unwritten?” Lynn Palermo examines these isues in this thought-provoking article.

Remember, too, to check out my Life in the Slow Lane blog. This week, I write about how some businesses insult our intelligence with lame, deceptive marketing messages.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter in Urbandale, Iowa, where he connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Jessie’s journal: May 6-12, 1959

Here is another posting from my grandmother Jessie Lehmer’s 1959 journal. Jessie kept her journal for at least 29 years. You can find the first post in this series here.

Jessie (age 57) is recovering from a lengthy hospital stay for a sore back and is about to return to her job at Kilpatrick’s Department store in Omaha. Her husband Harry (age 60, who she refers to as Daddy), a boilermaker’s helper at Union Pacific Railroad in Omaha, was busy building an enclosed front porch for their home in Council Bluffs, Iowa, when he got sick.

Other people mentioned this week include Harry and Jessie’s daughter, Agnes Grosvenor (37), who lives across the street with her husband, Jack Grosvenor (40) and their three children – Judy (18), Linda (16) and Jackie (3). Another daughter Phyllis (35) lives in Pasadena California, with her husband, Don Lidikay (42). Also mentioned are their oldest son, Walter (referred to as Jack, age 38), his wife Elsie (36), their youngest child, Calvin (29), Dr. Pedersen, Dr. O’Neil and Dr. Arta (Harry’s doctors), Rev. Miller (their pastor) and Ida and Ernie Jensen and Vern Welch (friends).

May 6, 1959 (Wednesday)
    “Daddy was sick to his stomach about 2 a.m. Bless him, he is so sweet to care for, does anything you want. Jack G. shaved him, got him cleaned up. Jack L. brought order for doctor, he filled out form for sick pay. Daddy signed it, did a good job. He watched the clock, wanted to get up and get ready to go have cardiogram. Jack G. took us up, got a wheelchair so it wasn’t so bad today. They got him in at 1 p.m., he laid down. No report yet from x-rays, I have called 3 times, doctor was supposed to call. Agnes brought over vegetable soup, rhubarb. Daddy ate 2 bowls soup, 1 bowl rhubarb, 2 glasses malted milk, 2 cookies, slice of meat, crackers & honey. He is sitting up, reading now. Seems to be about the same. Ray came; Agnes took him home. Daddy sat up about 3 hours. I gave him an enema and bath, put him to bed. The children are so wonderful. I thank the Lord for them.”

May 7, 1959 (Thursday)
    “Daddy didn’t sleep so well last night. He was sick again at 3 a.m., again at 6:30 when I got him up for breakfast. Really did vomit then. I believe it was too much soup last night. We had to get up early on account of going over to see Dr. O’Neil. He said everything is fine, he won’t need to see him anymore. Dr. Pedersen called. Heart normal, x-rays don’t show anything wrong. He said he thinks it is an emotional strain. He is coming this p.m. to see him, going to give him medication, see if it can help him. Calvin took us to Omaha. Jack & Elsie were there a while. Agnes runs in and out so much, hope she doesn’t get down. The children are so wonderful, what would I do without them? Dr. Pedersen came about 3:30, told Daddy the reports were all good, nothing serious wrong. He is going to give him some pills. We got them – take one, four times a day. They should help him. He ate a fair supper, sure was better when he got up to eat. Ida & Ernie was over, Agnes & Jack & Jackie came over. Judy is staying with us tonite. Phyllis will be here in the morning. I am so glad.”

May 8, 1959 (Friday)
    “This has been a bad day. Judy and I got up at 6:30 a.m. They all went over to [train station to] meet Phyllis. So good to see her and have her home. Jack G. came over and shaved Daddy. I cleaned up his bed, he has been down all day. Did manage to get him to eat his lunch, completely out this p.m. The doctor said it was his medicine, 4 tablets a day, too much. I got a little chicken broth down him. The doctor came down to see him this evening. Calvin was here, so was Jack & Elsie. Jack L. was down this evening. Daddy has slept most all day. It is 10 p.m..Judy is over here, going to leave. Agnes has to take Jack to work. Our minister was here again today. I washed out a few pieces by hand, ironed some. Just can’t settle myself. Phyllis went over to Omaha with Agnes to take Jack to work. I am going to bed about 11:30. It’s raining.”

May 9, 1959 (Saturday)
    “Daddy slept good all night. We got up late. He had a good breakfast, seems better this morning after he took his pill. He rested, got up this afternoon, stayed up a long time. … I am going to write up his minutes for union meeting so Vern can take them over. Vern called, said he will be over to see Daddy one of these nights.”

May 10, 1959 (Sunday)
    “Daddy had a restless night. After breakfast I gave him an enema & bath, gave him his pill, put him to bed. He had a good breakfast. Calvin & family came to see Daddy and tell Phyllis goodbye. Jack L. also came by to see Daddy & Phyllis. The children remembered me on this Mother’s Day, God bless them. A sad day for me. I know God will take care of Daddy. He isn’t feeling as good as yesterday. Agnes & family are in and out to see him. If love will help, he sure has the love. It is after 10 p.m. He was up awhile, drank some malted milk. I gave him his pill, he is in bed now. I am going to bed. Dear God, give him rest this nite. Phyllis is leaving tonite. Agnes is taking her to the train.”

May 11, 1959 (Monday)
    “10:30 p.m. This is a heartbreaking day. Dr. Pedersen came this evening, seen Daddy when he was awake. After talking to him, asking questions, said we would have to hospitalize him for treatments while there is a chance to help him. I am stunned, actually numb. All I can say, order is useless. I just ask God to take over and supply his every need according to his will. It was a beautiful day, so far as weather was concerned. Daddy had a fair nite, was up once with him, I believe. He was restless. I never went to sleep until after 12:30, was up at 3 a.m. with Daddy so I am all in, so sleepy. Cleaned the house today. Washed front porch door and a few of the windows. So much yard work to be done. I have to be getting back to work now so I can have something coming in. Judy is 18 years old today, not much of a birthday for her. We just gave Daddy half a sleeping pill. He has quieted down. Hope he sleeps tonight.”

May 12, 1959 (Tuesday)
    “A gloomy day. Rained during the night again, so cloudy all around. Daddy had a restless night, moaned & groaned, tossed & turned, didn’t care to eat his breakfast, very little at that. He is so weak. Complains of his bowels. I know he must be in misery, he holds his bowels and makes a terrible face. Jack L. got his check for me. Jack G. just shaved him. I am waiting for the doctor to call. Just can’t settle down to do anything. God bless him and take over, just supply his need according to thy will. Judy stayed with me last nite, got to bed 1 o’clock. 9:45 p.m. I am staying with Agnes. My dear Daddy is in the hospital, so hard to leave him, just breaks my heart. I know now he is going to get some attention and help. He is in Richard Young Memorial Hospital, took him over at 4 p.m. Agnes & Jack took him over. I went up to his room with him, going to take a sleeping pill, see if I can get some sleep. Dr. John Arta is his doctor. Rev. Miller was to see Daddy today. Dear God, take care of him, supply his every need.”

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Five We Like: Another week of family history goodies

There’s a lot of good family history information available on the Internet. Here are five places we’ve enjoyed visiting recently:

Mom in the Kitchen was a Recipe for Disaster. This weekend as we fondly remember our mothers, there’s a tendency to focus on those warm and fuzzy moments. Roslyn Nelson offers a slightly different take on her mother who, despite her deficiencies in the kitchen, was a loving mother nonetheless.

Family-history shock. William Skyvington was just goofing around with a casual web search when he serendipitously discovered some shocking news about his great-grandfather.

Brewing Up Books, Old and New. There are now a few coffee shops where, in the time it takes a barista to prepare your beverage, you can print a book to read during your visit.

Who Do You Think You Are? This terrific series, which recently completed its debut run and has been renewed for a second season, is now available on the NBC web site. If you haven’t seen it, or missed an episode or two, check it out.

A shoebox of photos. “Looking through a box of photos, counting up the history is the Mac and Cheese of activities. It’s comfort activity.” Susan Kitchens writes a lovely essay of one family’s experience while going through a box of photos from a recently departed loved one.

Remember, too, to check out my Life in the Slow Lane blog. This week, I write about a four-tier system for decluttering your house and what happens when you drive a bit below the posted speed limit.

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of jenny downing.

Jessie’s journal: April 29-May 5, 1959

Here is another posting from my grandmother Jessie Lehmer’s 1959 journal. Jessie kept her journal for at least 29 years. You can find the first post in this series here.

Jessie (age 57) is recovering from a lengthy hospital stay for a sore back and is about to return to her job at Kilpatrick’s Department store in Omaha. Her husband Harry (age 60, who she refers to as Daddy), a boilermaker’s helper at Union Pacific Railroad in Omaha, was busy building an enclosed front porch for their home in Council Bluffs, Iowa.

Other people mentioned this week include Harry and Jessie’s daughter, Agnes Grosvenor (37), who lives across the street with her husband, Jack Grosvenor (40) and their three children – Judy (17), Linda (16) and Jackie (3). Another daughter Phyllis (35) lives in Pasadena California, with her husband, Don Lidikay (42). Also mentioned are their oldest son, Walter (referred to as Jack, age 38), their youngest son, Calvin (29), Miss Swanson (supervisor at Kilpatrick’s), Dr. Pedersen and Dr. O’Neil (Harry’s doctors) and Virginia (a neighbor and friend).

April 29, 1959 (Wednesday)
    “I got a check from New Amsterdam for 10 weeks wages – $233.30, from 2-17-59 to 4-27-59. Could hardly believe it. I am thankful for it. … Daddy cut up some boards, burned them. He spaded up a place for glads. We watched TV until news was over, to bed. Daddy is so tired. Hope he gets to feeling better.”

April 30, 1959 (Thursday)
    “Mrs. Wren was looking over house. I guess it isn’t what they are looking for. … Daddy took wren house down, drilled more holes in it.”

May 1, 1959 (Friday)
    “I was over trying to help Virginia kill snakes. She killed 7, one black, others were garter snakes, a nest of them in their corner of yard. … I have been watching the wrens. They are so busy flying around, in and out of the house. Brought Jackie over so he could see them. … We went to church to hear a Roman Catholic Priest who was saved by grace – Harry B. Groning, B.D. I was so miserable sitting so long.”

May 2, 1959 (Saturday)
    “I just got up. Had to have a sinus headache. Our windows open, nite air and breeze always does this to me. … Breakfast over. Daddy tried to decide what to do, finally settled on renting a sander and he sanded porch floor. A hard job, he put first coat of gym finish on. He doesn’t feel good, has a headache, so tired. I couldn’t do much to the house. Sawdust got in someplace. … Daddy didn’t feel like eating. I made him sit down & rest. He just isn’t himself, acts worried. I want him to see a doctor.”

May 3, 1959 (Sunday)
    “Daddy has really got a severe headache, doesn’t feel like being up, said he is dizzy when he gets up. He got up 7:30, said it hurt so bad. I got him to take 2 Anacin, he laid down again. I finally got him to consent to me calling Dr. Pedersen. Dr. came about 2 p.m., asked a few questions. He is going to see him in his office tomorrow. He wants to take some tests. He left 2 sleeping pills for tonight, wants him to have a good night’s rest. Daddy ate pretty good, but is so drowsy. I just gave him an enema, hope he gets relief. His bowels are not working too good anyway since he took those calcium pills. He said he never had such a headache before, severe pains. I feel so sorry for him. God will supply his every need I pray. I called Miss Swanson, told her I will have to be with him for a few days. She said that will be perfectly alright.”

May 4, 1959 (Monday)
    “Daddy slept pretty good until midnight, restless from then on. I have to urge & coax him to get up and eat. I don’t believe his head is hurting as bad today. He hasn’t taken anything for it since 5:30 this morning. He is so all in, just sleeping all the time. Jack G. has been in a lot, Agnes. Jack L. & Calvin came this p.m. Had a letter from Phyllis & Don. Phyllis is coming on her vacation. After dinner, Daddy managed to shave. I helped him get his bath. He was so tired, rested a while, dressed. Jack G. took us up to see the doctor, a blood test for anemia. Blood good, urine test good, go to U.P.  [Union Pacific] headquarters for x-ray of skull and sinus, electro cardiogram. Will get report on those Wednesday. I called Dr. O’Neil. He is going to see Daddy Thursday. Judy has been over to see Daddy, so good to be near the children when you are sick.”

May 5, 1959 (Tuesday)
    “It is 12:30 noon. I just got Daddy in bed. He is so tired from his long wait for x-rays. Jack L. took us over to headquarters. He has to go to Edmundsen Hospital at 1 p.m. tomorrow for electric cardiogram. I got Daddy to eat some breakfast & lunch, just have to go coax him to eat. Bless his heart, he is so good. Agnes shaved him this a.m. We had a long wait for x-rays, took 3 pictures. He was all in when we got home. I made him a lunch, then he went to bed, slept until 4:30. Mr. Miller from our church came down. After he left, Daddy perked up, has been up 2 hours. Ate a good supper for him – bowl of soup, 2 big glasses malted milk, half banana sliced, 2 cookies. So good to see him up. He is looking over the paper. I have a backache, going to bed early. Raining again, off and on all day. Agnes gave me my liver shot this morning.”

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian and chief legacy planner at When Words Matter, Ltd., who connects generations through their stories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.