Passing It On

Suh, suh Daddy … more, more

My Grandpa Andersen had a habit of grabbing Grandma.

He took great delight in grabbing her around the waist, his fingers wriggling as he nuzzled up to her. I think Grandma liked it, but she must have been a bit ticklish.

As she tried to pull away in mock disgust, a labored smile appeared as she responded, “Suh, Daddy. Suh, suh.” Eventually, Grandpa gave up and returned to more adult behavior.

My brothers and I witnessed this countless times while we were growing up. Eventually, one of my brothers found the courage to ask: “Grandpa, what does suh mean?” As a broad grin crossed his face, he replied with a naughty twinkle in his eye, “It means more, more.”

While I’m certain Grandma would disagree with that interpretation, we grandkids knew that when we heard “suh” coming from elsewhere in the house, it probably meant that Grandpa was tormenting the love of his life.

We all have words like that in our family history, words that symbolize something in our families but may have a different meaning altogether to outsiders. While this one came easily to me, I’m hard-pressed to come up with any others from my own family today. Perhaps my brothers will help me set the record straight

Writing prompt for the day: Make a list of some “code words” from your own family history. Are they still used today? Be sure to include definitions.

Larry Lehmer is a professional personal historian who helps people write their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Photo: Jens C. Andersen enjoys a relatively tame moment with his wife, Ellen Andersen, in 1969. (Larry Lehmer collection)

You remember then … how about adding now?

I love old pictures of street scenes from my home town. Even better is when the newspaper publishes a current photo from the same vantage point so you can compare the same area then and now.

You can do the same with your own family landmarks, including people.

For the brick and mortar of your past, find a photo you like, track down the old building, station yourself at the same spot the old photographer used and snap away. Follow the same technique with people. Even better, shoot the same shot periodically over the years for a smoother transition effect.

Photographer Peter Feldstein used the technique to great effect and critical acclaim with his Oxford Project. After shooting the residents of Oxford, Iowa, in 1984, Feldstein returned to photograph them again 21 years later. Working with writer Stephen Bloom, the duo produced a stunning book of the project.

For further ideas, check out the Then and Now group on flickr.

Writing prompt of the day: Make a list of relatives and buildings you want to try this technique on and get started.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people write their family histories. To learn more, check out his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of Bob n Renee.

Remembering Sgt. Kenny Cox, an uncle-in-law I never met

         

I never met Kenny Cox (left photo above). He died nearly a year before I was born, on his final combat mission over China before he was to return to the states where he was to be reunited with his wife, my Aunt Phyllis (right). But I’m thinking of him on this Memorial Day.

Although I never met Kenny, I’ve often wondered what his life with Phyllis would have been like. He was a motion picture photographer; she had that girl-next-door beauty that was so popular in Hollywood at the time.

For starters, I’d sure like to know how they met. Kenny was nearly five years older than Phyllis, was born in Riley, Kan., and had attended Omaha South High School before accepting a job at Armour, one of the big meat-packing plants in Omaha. Phyllis was just a year out of high school when they married in Long Beach, Calif., on June 10, 1943. She spent that year teaching at tiny McClelland, Iowa, just a few miles outside her hometown of Council Bluffs.

 I’m also curious how a kid goes from working at a meat-packing plant to an aerial combat photographer, Kenny’s service trade. He entered the service on Aug. 3, 1942, and was an Army sergeant in the 14th Air Force at the time of his death in January 1945.

Assigned to a motion picture unit at Culver City, Calif., Kenny was returning from his last Pacific mission, over Chiniang, China, when his plane went down. There is speculation among family members as to whether he was killed in the crash or later. When his remains were returned to the U.S. more than two years later, Chinese officials also returned a battered and scorched suitcase he had with him on that mission.

Although a Memorial service for Kenny was held at Gospel Tabernacle in Omaha on Feb. 25, 1945, an even larger service took place in late October 1947 when his body was returned to the United States.

Kenny’s casket arrived by train and was given a military escort through streets lined with flags at half staff before he lay in state at the Orpheum Theater in downtown Omaha. He and Marine Pfc. Darwood B. Smith were the first repatriated war dead to be returned to Omaha.  An estimated 2,000 people attended a memorial service to honor Douglas County's war dead before a graveside ceremony was conducted by the American Legion at West Lawn Cemetery.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people write their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Family photos are headlines for larger stories

Family pictures are great. They instantaneously capture slices of life graphically, often in intricate detail.

But, as great as photos are, they’re really just headlines for much larger stories. If you’ve ever come across a bunch of old family photos, you know what I mean.

While the pictures may be crystal clear and full of detail, they don’t mean much without the story behind them. You may not recognize the people, places or events pictured.

• “That house? That’s the house I was born in.”
• “That tall guy with the mustache? He’s your great grandfather.”
• “I don’t recognize any of the people there, but it could be the people who helped your great grandfather after the fire that destroyed his barn and killed all his cows. Or maybe it was the people who came to bid on his farm when he lost it in the Great Depression. I’m not sure.”

Connecting stories to photos is an important step in the family history process, yet few of us take the time to do it properly.

Take modern weddings, for example. It’s quite common for families to spend thousands of dollars on wedding photographs. This usually includes posed groupings of wedding party and families and increasingly a bunch of candid shots from the event and reception.

In the past, photographers offered proof sets of a few dozen to select from but in this modern, magical era of digital photography, many photographers have shifted the burden to the customer who now must select from everything shot, often several hundred photos.

For a mere fraction of the cost of a photographer, the lucky couple could have hired a personal historian to help document the event. By interviewing , observing and reporting, a qualified personal historian can pair stories of the event with photos in a beautiful, hardbound remembrance book that makes a wonderful gift and will last for many decades.

The same technique can be used for any family gathering, such as reunions, birthdays, anniversaries and graduations. To learn more, visit my web site or send me an e-mail.

Photo: I love this old family photo but have no idea who the people are or what occasion brought them together for this formal portrait.

Don’t let family treasures fall victim to downsizing

My paternal grandmother, who kept journals for at least 29 of the last 31 years of her life, also kept scrapbooks. There is little family information in her scrapbooks, although I did find the short clipping of my Uncle Calvin finding some human legs in a city dump quite interesting.

Tucked in among the weather news and clippings of local-girl-turned-radio-star Louise Fitch was a photo of an odd-looking contraption headed to the recycling center.  It was an outdated fire truck acquired by the Union Pacific Railroad sometime around the Civil War. Since the horse-drawn pumper was no longer in service, the railroad was sending it to be melted down to salvage the metal for use in the World War II effort.

I can’t say for certain what today’s Union Pacific leaders would say about the matter, but I’m pretty sure they’d like to have the pumper on display at its museum today.

These things happen in war. Many Civil War cannons and pieces of antique farm machinery that would be historic treasures today were consumed by the 1940s war machine. I fear that lots of family treasures face the same fate today.

Just as our World War II vets continue to die off at a staggering pace, their offspring are at an age where many of them are downsizing themselves as they move into smaller residences to accommodate their own empty nester lifestyles. That funneling effect means something has to go. But what?

Items are often pitched out of ignorance of their value, either in a family history sense or in a real, free-market sense. Rather than just blindly kicking old or ugly stuff to the curb, a wise person would ask some questions first to determine its real value. Only then will you really know where it belongs.

Writing prompt of the day: Write short histories of family items you value and make certain your heirs have access to them. This will help them assess the items’ value after you are gone.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Photo: 1942 newspaper clipping of Civil War-era fire truck. (Jessie M. Lehmer collection).

Procrastination or perfectionism? Either is a problem

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Once I get past this, then I’ll (fill in the blank)?” Then did you get “past this” only to have something else pop up in its place?

That’s not unusual. Despite our best intentions, most of us fall prey to this inability to order our universe in precisely the manner we wish. Whether it’s procrastination or perfectionism, it too often keeps us from saving our family histories.

We personal historians preserve the past for those in the future, but it’s important that we don’t ignore today for to do so complicates our family history goals, sometimes to the point of making them impossible.

For example, my mother-in-law Rose’s parents – Joseph and Frances Kastl – had six children born between 1898 and 1908. When the youngest child died at age 6 in 1915, Frances was distraught. They had no photos of their youngest son, Leopold.

To avoid a similar situation with their five surviving children, the Kastls dressed them up and had a family portrait taken, no small feat for a working class family in those days. The only problem with this, according to my mother-in-law, is that she wasn’t included since she wasn’t born until 1919. The next family portrait wouldn’t be taken until 1948, at Joseph and Frances’ Golden wedding anniversary. Rose is in that photo.

Although Rose’s siblings had memories of young Leo, Rose had nothing, not even a photo. It’s been a void in her own family history her entire life. Her brothers and sisters are now dead. If only someone had taken the time to share something about Leo or taken a picture.

The stars in your universe may not be perfectly aligned but if something is important to you today, do it today. Don’t put it off until the time is “right.” If that time comes, fine, do it again, but if it doesn’t come, you’ll be grateful for what you did today.

Writing prompt of the day: What one family history task of yours has been put on hold the longest? Get it started today.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Photo: Kastl family portrait ca. 1915. (Rose Hayes collection)

I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Scorsese

I see that Martin Scorsese is planning to do a film of Frank Sinatra’s life story. Still apparently undecided is who will play Old Blue Eyes himself. A few years back, I would have bet on Harry Connick Jr., but I’m not certain he would be a good choice today.

Scorsese’s plan got me thinking: Who would I want to portray me in a film about my life? The cheesy choice would be someone like Brad Pitt, of course, but I actually think Philip Seymour Hoffman is the better pick. He would bring the versatility and subtle nuance necessary to capture my full character.

But what about the rest of my family?

I would probably go with Robert Duvall as my father. He has the proper mix of gravitas and sensibility to make it work. My mother is a more difficult choice but I think I’d go with Jean Stapleton. She’s about the right age and, while my mother didn’t carry the burden of a bigoted husband like Stapleton’s Edith Bunker did, they were similarly blue collar, stay-at-home wives who fought fiercely for their families and all else they believed in.

Brad Garrett (of Everybody Loves Raymond) can play my brother Ron. They’re both quite tall with sweet dispositions that belie their physical appearances. I’m torn between Nick Nolte and Gary Busey to play my brother Dave. Both actors have had their rough spots in recent years, but they’re also great on the screen and would be up to portraying my baby brother.

My kids are easy. Greg Kinnear bears a strong physical resemblance to my oldest, Aaron, and his quirky roles are a nice match for Aaron’s real life. Anne Hathaway is dead-solid perfect as my daughter, Meghan, and you could say the same for Jim Carrey as my youngest, Bret, whose Fire Marshall Bill is a party-stopper.

And my wife? How about Catherine Keener? She has a similarly perfect mix of hotness and smarts that any man would be drawn to.

But, enough about me …

Writing prompt of the day: Who would you pick to play you in a movie about your life? What about the rest of your family?

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people writer their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo of Frank Sinatra in Las Vegas in 1954 courtesy of danperry.com.

Inquiring minds mine gold from baby books

I call them baby books. You may know them as something else. The picture with this post is the cover of my baby book, started by my mother shortly after my birth to record all the vital statistics and important events of my earliest days.

Baby books can be wonderful sources of family information. Some are simple, just a few pages, often given to young parents by local merchants. Others are more elaborate, ambitiously providing space to document every step and fall, every new tooth and each addition to an expanding vocabulary.

The real value of these books, of course, is the personal information they contain. Some parents were more diligent than others in maintaining them. Sadly, my mom quit adding information on me just a few weeks of my arrival.

Sean Sexton wrote this week on his Sean on Family History blog about the interesting information he gleaned about a brother after taking possession of his immediate family’s baby books. Here are just a few of the things you can find in these potential treasure troves:

• Baby books often list visitors and the names of people who sent baby gifts. Review these lists. These people were close enough to a family that they shared a special moment. They may have stories to share about the family, too.
• Depending on the detail of the books, clues to a family’s lifestyle may be found from the places they went, the things they did and the people they did them with.
• Those books given away by merchants often include ads that give a picture of commercial life in a community at that time. These clues are useful in placing the newborn’s early life in a community context.
• Photos are sometimes pasted into these books, too. They’re often more easily dated than those found in a shoebox and usually identify the people in them.

Writing prompt of the day: Seek baby books from family members and check them for pertinent family history information you can use in your project.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people record their family histories. To learn more, check out his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Use photos and movies to tell family stories

I have several hundred feet of Super 8mm movie film sitting just a few feet from me. I have no idea what is on the film, which was shot by my father some time ago. I hope it contains images of my family from at least 25 years ago, since that was about the time Dad moved into videotape.

My story is no different than many of you who have inherited similar caches of movie film. I’m eager to get it transferred to DVD so I can watch it on a television screen rather than having to set up a projector and screen (which I don’t have!) every time I want to see it. And that’s what I’ll do. I’ll turn it over to someplace to do the transfer, then I’ll check out what I actually have.

My friend Steve Pender of Family Legacy Video suggests that there may actually be a better way. Rather than just having a hodge-podge of video snippets aggregated onto a DVD, why not use those snippets to tell a story? That’s what Steve does in his business and it’s something I do for people in the Des Moines, Iowa, area in collaboration with John Windschitl, aka that video guy.

The technique isn’t just for films, either. Family stories can be told through slideshows of still photos, too. You can add narration and music to make a really classy production. A great example is Phillip Toledano’s days with my father.

You can get more information on how to put together an image-based family history just the way you want by contacting me or that video guy.

Writing prompt of the day: Find 6-12 pictures that tell a family story then tell that story by writing captions for each photo and putting them in the proper order.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people write their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of aka Kath.

Who you callin’ old, Buster?

Here we are, a full week into Older Americans Month, and I don't feel a day older that I did a week ago. How about you?

Older is a decidedly relative term, anyway. As a charter member of both the Woodstock and Pepsi generations, I don’t define the term quite the same today as I did 40 years ago. At that time, I would have defined my parents as old although they were much younger then than I am today and I don’t consider myself old yet.

I suppose older is better than senior, but not by much. In fact, Older Americans Month was originally Senior Citizens Month when it was established in 1963 by President John F. Kennedy, who sadly never achieved senior status.

Technically, you could consider any American born before you to be an older American. Realistically, though, our perceptions of older vary widely and are largely dependent on our view of ourselves.

For the most part, older people outside our families are virtually invisible to young people except for required social and commercial contacts. Outside our immediate families, we usually associate with people our own age. As we age, though, we usually build a greater recognition and appreciation for those older than us.

Not surprisingly, then, interest in family history often doesn’t materialize until middle age or the loss of someone close to us, whichever comes first. Some people never develop more than a passing interest in their own family’s legacy, while it’s vitally important to others.

One of the jobs of family elders is to preserve that history before it is lost so that it can be available to those family members when they want it. Consider that as you reflect on the older members of your own family during Older Americans Month.

Writing prompt for the day: Ask at least one older member of your family what life lesson they want to share with future generations.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site, send him an e-mail or follow him on Twitter.

Flickr photo courtesy of rileyroxx.