So, Dad, tell me about this Karen person

See the picture at the top of this article. It’s a bit blurry so let me explain what it is.

It’s a tiny aluminum bracelet with the name “Karen” etched into its face. It was among a handful of similar bracelets I discovered in a trunk in the attic of my parents’ home as my brothers and I were preparing to move them a few months ago.

To be honest, I can’t tell you much about the other bracelets I found at the same time, so intrigued was I with this one. All were engraved, as I recall, but with familiar names or titles, such as “Elsie” (my mother), “Sweetheart” or something like that.

But Karen … well, that was special. There’s no Karen in our immediate family and it was far too small to be worn by anyone larger than a baby. Perplexed, I asked Dad about it.

“That was for you,” he said in a very matter-of-factly way, “if you had been a girl.”

As my parents awaited my birth all those decades ago, my father spent many hours in the hobby shop at Port Hueneme, Calif., making things for the new arrival. That’s where he came across the scrap aluminum that he crafted into the bracelets. He also designed and built a newborn-sized crib that would travel well on the train journey back to the family homestead in Iowa.

That crib would eventually be used by Jack & Elsie Lehmer’s four boys, several grandchildren and is still in use by one of their five grandchildren.

I have known about the crib for many years, but I had never heard the Karen story. I suspect that most parents have their children’s names selected in advance, regardless of gender. It took me more than 60 years to learn my “altergender identity.” Do you know yours?

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family stories. To learn more, send him an e-mail, check out his web site or follow him on Twitter.

Comments

[Donna]

Larry-could-have-been-Karen,

Interesting post! Just think, if you would not have found it and asked, you'd have never known your alter-feminine-ego.

Donna-could-have-been-Eric

[Apple]

What an interesting story! If I'd been a boy I imagine I would have been given the name my brother received a year later. I envision an interesting conversation with my mother later in the week.

[Amy]

Great story!

I was born before sonograms as well, and my mother's doctor had assured her I was to be a boy, based on my "activity level" and the strength and rate of my heartbeat. As I was my parents' first (and only) child, they believed him.

So, up until the moment I came into the world, my name was Erik William.

There was a bit of a scramble shortly thereafter to come up with a girl's name: Amy.

I may have been an unexpected pair of X chromosomes, but my dad made darn sure I could throw a ball "properly" by the time I was 5!

-Amy (who was Erik for five months)

[Janet]

I would have definitely been Alvin Jr. - My folks already had a first-born girl, and I've been told that had I been a boy, they wouldn't have had any more children. Since I was a girl, they did have one more - finally the boy my dad had been wanting - and his name is Alvin Jr. I'm sure that's what they'd have named me if I'd been the boy. Great story!