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April 2008

April 30, 2008

What kind of train are you?

“People get ready, there’s a train a-comin’ …”

Those words and the tune to Curtis Mayfield’s gospel-tinged civil rights anthem have been running through my head ever since my brother forwarded me a link to “The Train Ride,” a thought-provoking slide show comparing life’s journey to a train ride.

Created by a grandmother of an autistic child, “The Train Ride” points out that passengers come and go, there are stops, delays and surprises along the way and we all get off the train with more baggage than we had when we got on.

“The Train Ride” metaphor rings true to me, perhaps because I come from a railroad family or maybe because I’ve heard and enjoyed so many Johnny Cash songs. It got me to thinking about the different kind of trains I’ve experienced in my lifetime. Of those three, I’ve decided I’m more like “B” below:

A. Streamliner. Zipping through life, in a hurry to get to your destination with as few stops as possible. Focused on the destination more than what’s outside the window.
B. Mail train. Frequent stops, picking up a little something new while discarding something old at each one, taking time to absorb the uniqueness of each stop.
C. Freight train. Full throttle on the open road, pausing every now and then to rebuild. Takes on an entirely new identity at each stop.

Which kind of train best describes your life journey so far?

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Flickr photo courtesy of moliere1331.

April 29, 2008

I’ll do it someday; give me a call then

When speaking to small groups, I often give a personal history quiz. It’s a fun exercise, each question introducing an aspect of personal history in a context the audience rarely has thought about. Here’s one of my favorite questions:

Question: Pick where you can find “Someday” on your planner:
    a. between Tuesday and Wednesday
    b. the fifth Friday in February
    c. on the eve of the eternal eclipse in the house of the dog
    d. somewhere between the dawn of creation and the fifth of never

The point of this exercise is that someday doesn’t really exist. It’s an answer we often use when we don’t want to commit. “I’ll get to it someday” is an excuse often heard by personal historians. We also hear a lot of “I wish I would have written down some of those stories before he/she died,” often by people who were going to get around to it someday.

I’ve thought about someday a lot in the past few days as my own family members have rallied to the bedside of a seriously ill loved one. As sad as these occasions are, they reinforce the value of family ties and remind us of the uncertainty of our earthly existence. They also expose the myth of that illusory someday.

Nora Dunn at Wise Bread has written about this topic. Although she substitutes “tomorrow” for “someday,” her post emphasizes that if you want to make sure something gets done, you’d better start today instead of waiting.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people write their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Flickr photo courtesy of Old Sarge.

April 23, 2008

Vitame vas: Listen to the sounds of your family


What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “wonderful wielders of the willow?”

Although the alliterative use of the letter “w” starting with “wonderful” has an almost poetic feel to it, it actually comes from an account of a baseball game a century ago by New York Times writer W.J. Lampton. Sounds better than “batters,” don’t you think?

Sportswriters of the past were colorful characters themselves and their sportswriting often reflected the flowery prose that was so popular in their times. Although that style of writing has largely disappeared, similarly colorful family phrases are often passed on to succeeding generations.

For example, English was the language of choice in my wife’s household as she grew up, but her mother used enough words from her own Czech heritage that my wife picked up on them and stored them in the deep recesses of her mind from where they emerge at the most unexpected times, amazing those of us around her who have never heard the phrases before.

Families of immigrants often carry the native tongue of their ancestors through successive generations, adding popular American sayings like “you’ll poke your eye out” or “if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?”

Think about the language of the household of your youth. Where did those phrases come from? Do you talk like your mother or father?

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Photo of Omaha's famous Bohemian Cafe courtesy of DBasci. (Vitame vas is Czech for "we welcome you")

April 21, 2008

Dear kids, your dad wishes you a happy future


Dear Aaron, Meghan and Bret,

Today, instead of teaching others how to write a legacy letter, I’m writing one of my own. On this day before Earth Day 2008, I want to share with you some of my wishes for your futures.

For me, Earth Day is a time of reflection, a chance to look back at what we’ve learned about our fragile ecosystem since the first Earth Day in 1970 and how we’ve done in the years since in making our planet more hospitable for all of its creatures. Since our very existence is intimately intertwined with our stewardship of Earth, I’m hoping that your generation and those that follow will manage our planet’s resources better than mine has.

Frankly, I don’t remember much about that first Earth Day on April 22, 1970. Your mother and I had been married less than three weeks, I was reporting to my first regular duty station in the Air Force and we were struggling to figure out how we could manage to live in Northern California on a second lieutenant’s salary. Although we were relocating to a hotbed of environmental activism, our contribution at the time was pretty much limited to not buying colored toilet paper.

As a family, we’ve grown to be more responsible over the past 38 years. But even with our relatively modest lifestyle, we would need more than one Earth if everyone lived as we do. And, as more people worldwide attempt to do just that, the strain is showing.

It is cruelly ironic that U.S. oil production peaked in the same year that Earth Day was born. Up to that point, the United States was the world’s leading oil producer and exporter. In 1970, 93 percent of the world’s energy came from fossil fuels. Although that percentage has dropped to 85 percent today (due mostly to increased use of nuclear power), the world consumes nearly twice as much fossil fuel-based energy than it did in 1970.

Given that fossil fuels are a finite resource in increasing demand and that their carbon dioxide emissions are responsible for many of the world’s environmental problems, it is clear that there is trouble ahead. Considering, too, that the modern global economy was built on cheap oil, international manufacturers that raced to the bottom line in the “boom years,” may find themselves foundering as a new world economy emerges. Despite the obvious, there are some who still view the cost of fuel as the problem rather than a symptom of a far greater problem.

The 20 million Americans who took to the streets in 1970 got the attention of federal politicians who went on to pass the Clean Air Act and form the Environmental Protection Agency. But government action has been slow and erratic, falling well behind the relentless pace of change of natural forces.

I’m proud with how each of you has positioned yourself for the challenges that lie ahead. You’re all sensible, responsible, productive members of your communities. I believe that no matter what awaits you, you’ll come up with creative, thoughtful solutions.

I regret that my generation hasn’t done a better job of managing the precious resources of our planet. Certainly our parents did their part, surviving the Great Depression and turning back the tyrants that threatened global stability in World War II. The world our parents turned over to us was one full of promise and hope. And, although we lived many years with the fear of world nuclear annihilation just the push of a button away, those same years were prosperous ones.

Our parents simply wanted us to have what they didn’t have. We took it and wanted more. And more, and more. As probably the most pampered generation in history, I think we unwittingly created a culture of entitlement where a man’s worth is measured more by what he owns than by his personal code of conduct.

When songstress Joni Mitchell wrote that “we are stardust,” her lyrical expression was an accurate reflection of scientific fact. Everything around us is derived from materials that were on this planet millions of years before humans. The genius of man is that he has been able to take the raw materials provided by nature and transform them into the buildings, roads and iPods that we use today. Even the cheap oil that has sustained us for the last 100 years or so is the result of decaying organic matter.

So here is what I hope for you, my children, and your descendants:

  • Clean air to keep your lungs clear and your spirits buoyant.
  • Fresh water to drink, bathe and play in.
  • Nutritious and readily available food to sustain you.
  • A reasonably healthy life, uncluttered by the ravages of disease, toxins and warfare.
  • A life partner with which to share the joys and sorrows that will inevitably come your way.
  • Comfortable shelter to protect you from the elements, to give you safety and refuge in times of stress, and a place where you may rest your body or enjoy the companionship of others.
  • Friends that will support you in times of need and give you a swift kick in the rear when needed.
  • Close and cordial relationships with your immediate family members, whose aggregate knowledge reflects the wisdom of generations past.
  • The confidence that your own life experience has positioned you to make appropriate decisions concerning your own family’s welfare.
  • Proper standing in your own community commensurate with your skills, knowledge and personal beliefs.
  • A strong spiritual faith that connects you to your natural environment and keeps you centered on those things in your life that truly matter to you.
  • That you develop and practice the virtues of compassion, truthfulness and generosity.
  • That you find contentment in all you do, that you find it within yourself to accomplish your dreams and that you concentrate on matters within your control and accept what you cannot.
  • That you live a full life, true to your own beliefs without doing harm to others.

With love always,

Dad

Photo: Meghan, Aaron and Bret Lehmerby lwlehmer.

April 18, 2008

How does home cooking fit in your family history?

For most of us, there’s nothing like home cooking. For many of us, though, home cooking is pretty much just a memory.

Instead it’s more like fast food lunches, dinner-time meals cobbled together from the frozen food aisle, breakfast burritos from a drive-through or alien-tasting toaster popups snagged while heading out the door in the morning.

Those of us who value real food cooked by real people in real time are, whether we know it or not, soldiers in what has become known as the “slow food movement.” We are the conduits by which favorite recipes of our past can be passed along to our children. Some of us do this merely by our actions, preparing tasty, healthy meals for our offspring on a regular basis. Some go a step further and make sure the recipes are shared, sometimes in the form of a family cookbook.

Passing on recipes can be an exasperating experience. Many recipes may call for a pinch of this, a dash of that, a jelly jar of water or similarly vague measurements. Back in the day, many recipes were passed on orally, often in a hands-on manner. We demand more precision today. One solution to this would be to video record the person as they actually prepare the dish. At the very least, you should taste test your recipes before passing them on to others. Many common ingredients of the past have been revamped or are no longer available.

What constitutes a family recipe is a matter of debate. If a family favorite originated elsewhere, give proper credit. A brouhaha surrounding recipes on John McCain’s web site in which his wife, Cindy, passed on Food Network recipes as “McCain Family Recipes” led to their being pulled. Don’t create your own family “spaghetti-gate.”

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Flickr photo courtesy of dad1_.

April 17, 2008

Your life deserves more than six words

We’re born. We live. We die.

That may sum up our lives in six words but it doesn’t really differentiate our lives from the billions of other we(s) out there. For most of us, our obituaries are the final words of our personal history. For that reason, I encourage people to write their own obituaries or to work with a personal historian to have it done to your standards.

After all, who knows your life better than you? Wouldn’t you really rather take the time while you have it to distill your life to 250 or so meaningful words rather than having someone you’ve never met do it after you’re gone?

I wrote about this topic after attending an obituary writing workshop at the Nashville conference of the Association of Personal Historians last November. Obituary writing is an art form that is disappearing from the pages of many U.S. newspapers. Fortunately, personal historians have stepped up to ensure that everyone has access to a skilled professional that can create a memorable final tribute.

Many of the professional obituary writers in the U.S. belong to the fledgling Society of Professional Obituary Writers, which is having a workshop in Portland, Ore., on May 8-11. In conjunction with this workshop, awards will be presented to the best obituaries produced in 2007. The writers have graciously posted entries to this competition. Check them out to see what a well-crafted final tribute to a loved one can look like.

To find a personal historian in your area, go to the Association of Personal Historians web site.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Flickr photo courtesy of Horatio Baltz.

April 16, 2008

It’s not too late to right a wrong

Have you ever said or done something you later regretted? Of course you have. Did you fix it?

If we were brutally honest, our life stories would likely contain dozens of those moments that caused us great turmoil at one time. But time has a way of shoving those unpleasant experiences deeper into our subconscious, whether they were ever resolved or not.

I was reminded of this by Kim on the Escape Adulthood blog she shares with her husband, Jason. As Kim points out, it’s never too late to right a wrong. The TV series, My Name Is Earl, is built around this premise.

My brother brought this into a family history perspective when he sent me an e-mail in response to my recent post about my beloved 1957 Chevy. Confident that the statute of limitations had run out, he confessed that he and a barely teenage friend had once taken my car out for a middle of the night joyride. A few jumped curbs and forays into neighbors’ yards later, they abandoned their foolhardy quest.

“Having told the true story of my dirty and shameful deed - my soul is now better for it,” he wrote.

That he kept this secret for four decades is nothing short of amazing to me. I could never hold such a great story inside for so long. I’m grateful that he finally chose to share it so it can claim its rightful place in my own family history.

His action has me re-examining my own life from a different perspective. How about you?

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Flickr photo courtesy of The Full Moon.

April 15, 2008

Following in Grandpa’s tax-paying footsteps

Today is tax day. That’s not to be confused with Tax Freedom Day, which is still eight days away. You must have your U.S. federal income tax return in the mail by midnight tonight.

To be honest, I don’t remember any family members telling great tax stories whenever relatives gathered. Economic bragging rights in my family were claimed by virtue of income and possessions rather than taxes paid, or avoided, which I suspect was the norm in most U.S. families.

But, according to Business Week’s web site, ancestry.com will soon make it possible to check out some of your ancestors’ tax returns online. As part of an exclusive deal with the National Archives, tax returns from 1862 to 1918 will be available. That includes Abraham Lincoln’s $1,296 tax bill on his $25,000 income as president in 1864.

The road to federal income taxation was a rocky one after the tax made its debut in 1862 as a means of financing the Civil War. The tax was twice declared unconstitutional before Congress eliminated that nagging inconvenience by adding the 16th Amendment to the Constitution in 1913. We’ve been paying ever since.

So, if you’re one of those people seen on the late-night news dropping off your return at the post office just ahead of the witching hour, you can take some solace in the fact that your American relatives for the past 95 years have been part of the same tax-paying ritual. Think of it as carrying on a family tradition.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Liberty Tax man courtesy of 1Flatworld.

April 14, 2008

The Great Depression didn’t depress Millie

Anyone who lived through the Great Depression could be excused for having a jaded view of American society. It was a troubling time for many Americans who dealt with natural calamities, economic hardships and visions of a future that were murky at best.

Somehow, though, many of the children and young adults of that era, people in your own family tree, grew up to become what has been described by some as “the greatest generation,” people who rescued the world from fascism and egomaniacal dictators and built the foundation for the world systems that sustain us today.

One of those people made a swing through her native Iowa recently, bring some homespun charm, grace and warmth to a state in the final throes of a nasty, old-fashioned winter. Her name is Mildred Armstrong Kalish, the petite, 5-foot octogenarian author of “Little Heathens: Hard Times and High Spirits on an Iowa Farm During the Great Depression.”

You may have heard of the book; the New York Times called it one of the 10 best books of 2007. You may have seen Millie, too; she’s made many TV appearances, including on NBC’s  Today Show. What makes Kalish’s book so remarkable is how unremarkable her stories are. You’ve probably heard similar stories from your own family members who were around at the same time.

But Kalish, a retired English professor who has found her way to Cupertino, Calif., after her childhood near Garrison, Iowa, has a deft storytelling style, engaging readers by transforming the mundane events of her childhood into parables from the Heartland.

If you get a chance to meet her, do it. At the very least, read her book. You will probably come away with a better understanding of what some members of your ancestral tree went through at a critical time in the 20th century.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web page or send him an e-mail.

Flickr photo courtesy of pattiedonahue.

April 11, 2008

What would your ancestors think about your stuff?

Quick now, take a look around you. How many things do you own that are 10 years old? 20 years old? Older? If you’re like me, the answers are a few, not many, even fewer.

Now think about your grandparents and their possessions. Your answers to the same questions are probably much different.

Lori Thornton at Smoky Mountain Historian got me thinking about our changing consumption habits with her post on how she had to replace a perfectly good scanner because her new computer operating system couldn’t use it. Giles Slade’s observations in this Christian Science Monitor article show how cutting-edge, innovative Apple uses planned obsolescence to stimulate sales of its phenomenally successful iPod.

And while I knew that young folks have largely abandoned reading print newspapers, I had no idea that teens were similarly abandoning wristwatches, presumably because digital clocks are built into virtually everything electronic these days.

Without getting too far off topic here, our consumer society simply can’t continue on this unsustainable path of planned obsolescence. Our landfills are filling fast with the toxic remains of discarded PCs, cell phones and portable music devices with millions of soon-to-be-antiquated analog TVs waiting in the wings.

The pace of American consumption, which has quickened at an exponential rate since World War II, will likely be suppressed by economic and environmental realities in the not-so-distant future. Our descendants may find consumer habits of the past 60 years or so bewildering. Are you tracking the change for them?

As you write your own family history, consider seriously how your ancestors influenced your own buying habits. Write, too, of what you hope your own children and grandchildren have learned from yours.

Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or send him an e-mail.

Flickr photo of  Colorado landfill courtesy of Jason Kosena.