Perhaps you’ve heard the African saying: “When an elder dies, it’s as if an entire library burns down.”
The saying has it right. Elders are held in high esteem in most cultures, respected for their knowledge, revered for the values and skills that allowed them to reach old age and honored for their wisdom.
But, for some reason, many older people in America are uncomfortable with that position in modern society. My parents have lived through the Great Depression, World War II and everything that I’ve lived through in the decades since. I am truly inspired by their example and am utterly fascinated with the details of their lives before I was born. While they gladly share those details with me, it’s not something they would discuss without some gentle prodding. Many people of their generation are far worse.
Most of my projects these days involve interviewing people of that generation. They’ve all been great … once you get them to sit down and start talking.
One of my subjects, a World War II veteran in his 90s, is like that. His daughter hired me to capture his life story, something he reluctantly agreed to do. The first interview went exceptionally well but when it came time to schedule the second, he balked. The excuses started flowing. They’ve continued for several months. He recently collapsed at dinner and was rushed to the hospital, where he remains. The entire project is very much in doubt. It’s very likely that his descendants will have an abbreviated version of what should be a compelling story.
If you find yourself in a similar situation with a reluctant relative, don’t give up. While they may be resistant at first, they usually open up in time. The reward is so great. You can direct your efforts with another old saying: “A blunt pencil is better than a sharp mind.”
And, to all you Baby Boomers out there: You’ve lived interesting lives, too. Remember the Cold War, rock ‘n’ roll, television, personal computers, Viet Nam, the space race, the Civil Rights movement? They all happened on your watch. The first boomer will become Social Security-eligible in a couple of months. Does that make you an elder?
Just keeping up. I wrote earlier about “dish night” at movie theaters. Jasia at Creative Gene has posted on the subject. … The fires in Southern California seem to be abating a bit, but geneablogger Randy Seaver has been posting eyewitness accounts from his San Diego base.
Larry Lehmer is a personal historian who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, check out his web site or send him an e-mail.
Flickr photo courtesy of CharlesFred.
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