Passing It On

Where does the time go?

It’s hard to believe that Labor Day weekend is already here. Another summer slipping away. The garden that was just a baby a few short months ago is well into its productivity stage and on the fast track to the compost heap.

Time flies by so quickly. Why is it that times passes much faster as an adult than it did as a child?

I have a theory about that, probably derived from what I’ve heard elsewhere. When you’re 10 years old, much of what you do and learn is new and fresh. You soak it up like a sponge. Plus, that 10th year  represents 10 percent of your life so far. When you’re 50, you don’t soak up as much as easily. Plus, that year represents just 2 percent of your life. You’ve got 49 other years of memories competing for essentially the same brain space. That’s why it’s sometimes easier to remember what you ate at Aunt Harriette’s half a century ago than it is to remember what you had for lunch last Tuesday.

Fortunately for you and your ancestors, you don’t rely on your memory alone. That’s why you’ve documented all the really important stuff from your lifetime, right? For a refresher, go back and review how to write your personal history.

Sadly, this summer has had its share of tragedies, like the Minnesota bridge collapse and Utah mining disaster, where the victims may be permanently entombed in the mountain where they perished. In a similar incident at the Sago mine in West Virginia in January 2006, several of the victims had time to write farewell notes to their families. These legacy letters were later recovered and will likely be shared with generations to come.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Flickr photo courtesy of lastingexpressions.

Less is plenty in family photo albums

We recently returned from a trip to Miami for the wedding of our son, Bret Lehmer, and Claudia Vilato.

It was a great trip. Lots of sightseeing, terrific food, new friends, close family, a wonderful ceremony and reception. And photos. Lots of photos.

I took several dozen myself, including this one of the newlyweds. My daughter-in-law took pictures. So did my daughter, brother-in-law and dozens of other people whose names I do not recall. That’s not counting the three professional photographers who were hired to document the occasion. I’ll bet they took thousands.

That’s the way it is in this digital age, where costly film and slow processing of the not-so-distant past have been mostly replaced by relatively inexpensive and easily manipulated pixels. It can be overwhelming.  

Truth is, less is more when it comes to saving photos. More accurately, less is enough.

Consider this: If you added just one photo a week to an album over the course of a 75-year lifetime, that’s 3,900 photos. Sure, your family loves you, but do you really think your great-grandchildren want to spend their time wading through all that?

Culling photos is a cruel, but necessary, task. Set up your own limits and stick to them. Get rid of any photos that you can’t tie to a specific memory or story. Document those stories and keep them with the pictures. If you can’t bear to part with them, pass them on to someone who may have an interest in them.

Sally Jacobs, aka The Practical Archivist, has some tips on how to cull your photo collection and how to preserve them. If you have a bunch of old photos that you’re curious about, here are some tips on how to date old photos.

Have you ever wondered why older wedding portraits show the bride standing while the groom sits? Here are some possible explanations for this phenomenon.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Back to school's not just for kids

Do you ever dream of your school days?

I understand it’s not unusual to have weird dreams about those days even though it may have been decades since you concluded your formal education. A common theme is to be in class naked. I’ve never had that dream.

But I have had another school-themed dream that has snapped me to consciousness from a deep slumber, though not for many years. In my version, I show up to a class on finals day only to realize I’ve never been there before. I panic. A whole semester down the tubes.

This is back-to-school time. Not just for kids, either. Parents of younger children are going through a bittersweet period. They may miss the carefree days of summer with their kids, but they may also be celebrating a sort of liberation. Some of us may find ourselves with some time to ourselves. It’s a good time to focus on our educational needs.

We all have areas we can improve in. Perhaps you’d like to sharpen your writing skills so you can add some flair to your family history project. Maybe you’d like to be a better photographer. Or a more competent researcher. What do you want to be better at?

Make a pledge to yourself to do something about it in the year ahead. Check out your local adult education opportunities, such as offerings at community and senior centers, churches and historical societies. You may want to revisit my series of lessons on how to write a personal history. You can start here.

Don’t forget, too, that this is a perfect time to stock up on those “school supplies” you’ll need in the months ahead. A little planning now can save you money in the months ahead.

If you’re looking for a little video inspiration, check out this brief presentation to a roomful of genealogists by Chris Haley, nephew of Roots author Alex Haley. It’s different. I think his enthusiasm is refreshing. See if you agree.

P.S. This is the 100th post since launching "Passing It On" in February. Thanks to all of you who have supported this blog with comments and e-mails. You've made it all worthwhile.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Flickr photo courtesy of Aprille.

Who were you named for?

Names, names, names.

Names are the name of the game in genealogical research. They are the connectors and identifiers of our family trees. A misspelling, misjudgment or incorrect reference can send a family historian leaf-hopping to another, totally unrelated tree. Accuracy is critical in genealogical research.

As a family historian and biographer, I’m more interested in the stories behind the names. That includes their origins.

The influence of famous people extends well beyond their own family tree. They may have towns, buildings, streets or sandwiches named after them. They may even spark a surge of namesakes beyond their own families. My oldest son Aaron Guthrie, for example, is named after a favorite baseball player (Hank Aaron) and folk singer (Woody Guthrie).

But many of the names on our family trees are influenced more by those family members who came before. When my daughter was born, my wife, Linda, vowed that she would have a more unique name. There were many Lindas around during my wife’s childhood so she opted for the nice-sounding name of Meghan that she picked from a TV commercial. Unfortunately, that was about the same time that “The Thornbirds” was a best-selling novel with a Megan as a major character. All of a sudden, Megans were as common as Lindas were a decade earlier.

The name of our youngest boy, Bret Darby, is a nod to Linda’s father’s Irish roots.

What about your family? Do you know the stories behind the names in your own family tree?

Myra Vanderpool Gormley at Ancestry Magazine has written an interesting piece about how names were picked in her family and Chris Dunham, who has a knack for finding the offbeat over at The Genealogue, writes about a tennis star named Tennys, the real identity of Superman and a tale of using e-mail symbols to name your child.

To learn about one of the unexpected consequences of naming a child for a relative, check out this bookxo post. Or read my earlier post on names.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Flickr photo courtesy of joeforan1972.

Congratulations Dr. Bret and Claudia!

This is a big month in my own family’s history.

Two of our family’s more senior members – my mother, Elsie, and mother-in-law Rose Hayes – celebrate birthdays in August and my parents marked their 65^th wedding anniversary earlier this month with a family gathering in my hometown of Council Bluffs, Iowa.

Our youngest son, Bret, who also has an August birthday, has provided our family with two more August dates to celebrate.

First came word on Aug. 1 that Bret had passed his thesis defense for his doctorate in astrophysics at Penn State. Tomorrow Bret marries Claudia Vilato. That’s their picture in the corner of this post.

Besides being the first member of our family to become a Dr., Bret will become the first to work overseas when he begins a three-year astronomy fellowship at the University of Durham in England next month.

Marriage is such an exciting time for a family. Adding a new branch to a family tree holds great promise for strengthening the entire tree. The sharing and merging of two lives whose roots come from diverse backgrounds can be an enriching experience.

Bret was born and raised in Iowa; Claudia was raised in Miami, Florida, the daughter of Cuban immigrants. They met at Penn State and will begin married life together in an English college town. Sounds good to me.

Their wedding will give our family a rare opportunity to convene for a joyous occasion. This includes our oldest son, Aaron, who made another solid contribution to our family tree when he married Eiko Mitani, a native of Japan, in 2003.

Think of these connections as you view your own family tree. Rather than viewing them as mere lines on a page, consider that each union brought together totally different families. Consider, too, the part each played in creating the roots of your own family tree.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Our great state fair is a memory machine

Our state fair is a great state fair. Don’t miss it, don’t even be late.

Those words, from lyrics by Rodgers & Hammerstein, are on many Iowans lips this week as the annual extravaganza unfolds in Des Moines. The state fair is a literal memory machine. For many Iowans, traditions built around the fair connect several generations. The campgrounds and parking areas are filled to overflowing every day during the fair’s 12-day run. 

My blogging friend Janet at DMweblife.com has tagged me to write about the Iowa State Fair. Here goes.

I was raised a few hours’ drive from the Iowa State Fair and it was not a big deal in my childhood, although we attended once or twice. As an adult, I lived within 15 miles of the fairgrounds for several years before I went. I’ve been a regular ever since, going two or three times each year. But it hasn’t developed into much of a family tradition.

In my early fair-going years, I took great delight in seeking out bargains. I knew where and when the best food samples could be found. I knew where the cheapest popcorn was and thoroughly enjoyed the free stage entertainment each evening.

The bargains are much harder to find these days and, while it is possible to avoid overpriced artery-clogging offerings like deep-dried Oreos and corn dogs, truly healthy food is a bit hard to find. The quality and diversity of the free stage shows have taken a noticeable dip, too, the past couple of years.

But, at its roots, our state fair is still a great state fair. We have big boars, hot tub salespeople, blue ribbon cakes, beer on a stick, a place where you can watch piglets being born, lamb burgers, pork chops on a stick and a cow made out of butter. Older buildings have undergone a facelift, new venues have sprouted and there are more air-conditioned places to take refuge from the brutal Iowa summer heat. And there are the people. Lots of people.

People-watching is the No. 1 reason I go to the fair. With a presidential election just around the corner (or so it seems), big shot politicians are regulars here. On a visit to the fair this week, I saw Sen. Tom Harkin being escorted around a building by one of the fair’s biggest benefactors, real estate magnate Bill Knapp. While Harkin was flipping chops on the grill at the pork producer’s tent, candidate Chris Dodd was giving a speech on a bale of hay.

These are a couple of my take-away memories from this year’s Iowa State Fair. What memories have you taken from your state’s fairs?

To read what others are saying on this subject at Janet’s blog, go here.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Staying cool: Tough now, tougher then

It’s been hot here in Iowa lately. Judging from the weather maps I’ve seen, it’s probably been hot in your area, too.

I don’t know about you, but when hot, muggy air settles in around me it brings a friend – lethargy. Its arrival sends me scurrying for a cool refuge. This fact was reinforced over the weekend after I left the cool confines of an amply air-conditioned movie theater multiplex and emerged into the bright sunlight where a steamy blast of superheated air washed across my face. I couldn’t wait to get to my car where cool relief was just moments away.

While modern summer life presents a similar scenario for many of us in which our days consist of a string of visits to cool oases interspersed with brief unavoidable confrontations with Mother Nature, this is a fairly new phenomenon.

When I was a young child, we didn’t have air conditioning at all. In fact, it was a big selling point used by movie theaters in my home town. “Come inside where it’s 20 degrees cooler,” was their mantra. When my parents bought their first air conditioner, it was big, noisy and only cooled part of our small house. My brothers and I often slept on the floor of our living room in order to take advantage of its magical  cooling powers.

Considering that much of Iowa didn’t even get electricity until the 1930s, even a fan was a luxury for many Iowans for the middle of the 20th century. So, I’m left wondering how people managed to get anything done in those pre-air-conditioned days.

A lot of it has to do with expectations, of course. You can’t miss what you’ve never had or even heard about. In an era where keeping milk and butter cool was a major summer challenge, creature comforts probably weren’t high on their list of priorities.

Still, as I write about those family members who came before me, I have great admiration and respect for all they endured just to make it through each day. From the stories that have been passed down, they were largely an uncomplaining lot. I try to keep that in mind as the sweat drips from my nose as I reach for another tomato in my small but bountiful garden.

As you write your own family history, remember to keep things in perspective. Your grandparents and great-grandparents lived in a much different environment than we do today.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Flickr photo courtesy of osujjones.

One life + eBay = ????

So, what’s your life worth?

Most of us don’t think of our lives in monetary terms, opting instead to place our time on this planet in the priceless category. As mostly civilized and social creatures, this makes sense. Our relationships are crucial to our well-being and our ties to the people closest to us are utterly precious.

But some people do put a price tag on human life. Like Nicael Holt.

You may remember Nicael. The 24-year-old surfer from Wollongong, Australia, put his life up for sale on eBay earlier this year. He got quite a bit of press at the time and bids were said to have reached at least $24,000 and his page drew at least 245,000 hits.

Nicael was pretty upfront about what the winning bidder could expect: name, phone number, some 300 CDs, surfboard, introduction to his roughly 170 friends, birthday party. He also offered training in learning to be the new Nicael, including lessons on his personal history. The winning bidder would have to become a vegetarian but could collect the $20 owed by one friend and the six-pack of beer owed by another.

When the bidding closed, however, Nicael pretty much disappeared from public view. What happened to him and his life?

As near as I can tell, the winning bid actually was just a bit over $6,000 and, according to this post from Nicael, the top bidders developed cold feet at the last minute. It sounds like Nicael is still Nicael and his family history is pretty much intact with the addition of one interesting new chapter.

Still, the question remains: What is your life worth? For a purely scientific perspective on this issue, go here.

Even if you don’t plan on putting your life on the market, it’s a good idea to survey its contents. You may be surprised at how precious it really is.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Flickr photo courtesy of naturalcourse.

Remembering the storytellers of our past

I spent a day this week in my hometown of Council Bluffs, Iowa, helping my parents celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary. A gathering of family for occasions like this is always a joyous time of remembrance and a great opportunity to share family stories.

On this visit, we happened to drive by the Union Station area in Omaha where I spent many hours in the 1960s, working my way through college. It’s not far from the famed Old Market area and much of the area between has undergone a major facelift. The station area, though, is kind of a mixed bag.

There’s a nice museum in the old Union Station itself, but the nearby Burlington Station is more of an eyesore these days although signage indicates condos may resurrect the place someday. Buildings aside, I’m saddened to look at the tracks that run between the structures that used to be filled with passengers criss-crossing the nation.

I worked there during the final throes of what had been a thriving passenger rail era. None of the jobs I held in my railroad years exist today. As a mail handler, I filled rail cars with bags of mail at one of the nation’s busiest transfer points in Council Bluffs. It’s long gone. As a coach cleaner, I pumped water into the passenger cars during their brief stops at Union Station. Gone.  As a carman’s helper, I toted an oil can down long strings of freight cars, pausing only to lubricate those dwindling number of wheels that had not yet been updated to roller bearings. Gone.

But, though the jobs are gone, my memories of the people I worked with remain. The railroad people I worked with were storytellers, even those of few words.

It was mostly an uneducated bunch and many of them had lived through the Depression. Some of them who were nearing the end of their rail careers had even managed to raise families during those lean years. And they loved to share their experiences with a still-wet-behind-the-ears college kid who obviously knew nothing about the world. This was definitely not a world of political correctness.

It was a great education. Although not all of what I learned was positive – like the sexual terms I hadn’t heard before and haven’t heard since, how to cover a six-team parlay with one good over-under, how to roll your own cigarette or how to catch a catnap where the boss won’t catch you – I’ve carried memories of these people with me over the past four decades.

While I’ve forgotten many of my fellow students from that era, I still remember these hard-scrabble men, right down to the personal quirks that make them unforgettable in my mind.

Storytellers enter our lives from different directions. Sometimes they’re an unexpected gift; sometimes they’re just an annoyance. Learn to identify those in your life and give them the proper place in your own personal history.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

Flickr photo of interior of Omaha Union Station courtesy of sdelahoyde.

Bookmarks open doors to future and past

We’re all familiar with bookmarks. Bookmarks serve as reminders of where we’ve been and where we want to return to.

Without electronic bookmarks, we’d be adrift in cyberspace, clicking frantically as we try to navigate our way through the often-bewildering web while searching for the path to our intended destinations.

But this post by Shelly Kneupper Tucker points out that bookmarks used in actual books can actually serve a deeper purpose: they serve as markers to our peripheral pasts as well.

As Shelly notes, people use all manner of objects in their bookmarking – recipes, utility bills, love notes, toilet paper, even money. Most of us just grab what’s close at hand and stick it in the book. Others take their bookmarking more seriously.

Perhaps you’ve found strange items in hand-me-down books in your own family. Read the comments on Shelly’s post for further elaborations on readers’ book discoveries. What we find tucked between the pages of a book often provide clues to our family’s past. The same holds true for those hand-written notes in the margins. Check your library today.

Have you ever wondered if anyone alive today has met a person who was born in the 18th century? Megan Smolenyak Smolenyak at Ancestry magazine has. Think about it. The elder person is this equation would have to have been born in 1800 or earlier, 207 years ago. That’s quite a span. To read about Megan’s fascinating search, go here.

Larry Lehmer is a personal biographer who helps people preserve their family histories. To learn more, visit his web site or e-mail him.

  Flickr photo courtesy of  PIß.